a morning night..

i can feel it crawling in my skin..
morning i can't await dawn..
as it awaits me to it's feet..
the coldness of the summer breeze...
befall my longing tears..
my hands shaking in every inch..
i curl up in dreams..
rest is my plead..
rest me in your arms tonight..
and forever..
let them be..
and let them swallow their vain words as well..
i long for my sanctuary to come and have me..
have me lie in his arms..
as it would've been the sweetest sin..
pleasing as a dream..
and let them fall on their letters..
vanity is subdued within..
let it be and let us be..

conflict

as the flower rips the scene with it's torns..
a heart ponders more as it cleans it's wounds
such torns the flower has were cut by thee heart
then there came a wind
a wind that hushed a light phrase of hope
that such passion shall endure the test of time..
unsure though the flower is...
thee heart of the forlorn soldier..
minimized the agony of the confused flower
thus, resulting to trust..
then again will they have their wind act to as the fire would..

almond

hay kahapon grabe...

unang beses ata un na bad3p xa

tapos mega drama sakin na bkt daw ang kanyang shoti ay napapasaya ako ng inde sinasadya.. hmmm.... anyways...


basta i'm happy na he is uber happy... aun... 4 sure kakalkalin nanaman nea blog ko

tsk tsk tsk.... crap.. i miss him a lot...

uly 25 '08

kanina, inde ko napancn na nakatulog na ako sa balikat nea.... sobrang narelax ako... inde kasi maxadong mganda pakiramdame ko kanina eh, buong araw masakit ulo at katawan ko... mejo hirap din ako huminga... tapos sabe sa clinic ang baba daw ng BP ko... 90/60, malay ko ba kung anu ibig sabihin nun... basata lam ko pagod na ako... aun...

ung ninang ng shobe ko epal... panigurado ipagkakalat nun na nakita nea kami sa bus na naghaharutan... and she'll make a huge fuss over it... w/c i hate the most about people!!! tae cla.... hmmm.... the day wasn't so good pero masaya ako nung nihatid nea ako... kasi prang alang kayang manakit sakin pag kasama ko xa. prang ang safe safe ko pag nakabalunbun ako sa kanya.... tapos kanina ang cute cute nea tignan pag nikukulit nea ako... tapos ang sarap pakinggan ng tawa nea.... hehehehe... mejo nababaliw na ata ako eh.....

tae talaga ang tax... susme, alang nakapasa kahit isa... napakahirap naman kasi eh... anyways, babawi ako next time...

kanina din habang nagtravel kame.. naikwento ko sa kanya ung mga paranormal gifts ko... aun kala ko prang mabobore xa.. pero grabe... nakakagulat dahil sobrang concerned xa about sakin... grabe talaga.... prang sobra xang nagaalala... aun... wala lang nakakatuwa lang sobra... lalo na nung nakangiti lang xa habang nilalandi nea ako... hehehehe.....

blue as red

here i sit
pondering about the things i did
thinking about my heart
and my beliefs

my heart defied my beliefs
my heart overcame me
my heart is happy but amor is not
i am hereby crappy though i know that i'm not

i don't know how to make it end
i don't know why i did it
crap!what has become of me??
i don't know who i am anymore

i forgot everything i said before
i cannot say it once more
as soon as it rains i'll die
alone in this noble heart of mine

no one has been that good
i thought about it when i sin
but then again i cried
sliver as i wound my self

i don't know more to say
i lost amor already
her heart ate her alive
she can't anymore breathe.

hurt

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face

You told me how proud you were but I walked away

If only I knew what I know today

I would hold you in my arms

I would take the pain away

Thank you for all you've done

Forgive all your mistakes

There's nothing I wouldn't do

To hear your voice again

Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do

And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit

Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss

You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this

Would you tell me I was wrong?

Would you help me understand?

Are you looking down upon me?

Are you proud of who I am?

There's nothing I wouldn't do

To have just one more chance

To look into your eyes and see you looking back

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do

And I've hurt myself

If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that

I've missed you since you've been away

Oh, it's dangerous

It's so out of line to try to turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do

And I've hurt myself

By hurting you

- here i go again.. nasaktan ko nanaman xa..

wala talaga akong kadala dala.. wala akong pinakakalakhan.. lage ko na lang xang cnasaktan, pinaiiyak dahil sa mga kagagahan ko.. tae.. cguro nagsisisi xa na ako ung naging gf nea.. nakakahiya.. naiinis ako sa sarili ko.. prang tanga talaga ako.. kung pwede ko lang ibalik ung oras.. sana pla inde ko na xa inabala.. tutal ako lang naman ung nagsabe na maging kame eh.. dapat pla inde ko un cnabi, pra inde ko na xa nasaktan, nangako pa naman ako na inde ko xa sasaktan tapos ganito ung ginagawa ko??napakawalang kwenta ko talagang gf, i caused him too much pain na, i think it'll be better if i'd let him go.. cguro he's not the one for me, maxado kaxe akong mapanakit eh.. inde ko kaxe maalis sa sistema ko ung pagiging brutal ko ng walang kadahidahilan, hmmm.... nung nalaman ko na nasaktan ko xa.. sobrang nasaktan ako, prang dinudurog ung puso ko.. tae, kaya nga ba ayaw kong magmahal eh, hmm... hanngang d2 nlang... aun... i don't want to hurt him anymore, kelangan ko na xang ilet go.. i have to fix myself, to fix my heart..

21 minutes

21 minutes 'til midnight...
i talked to the man i love...
21 minutes b4 another day starts..
i laughed with someone i miss...
21 minutes b4 i sleep...
i felt the world stopped..
21 minutes b4 that..
i hoped that by this i can make him feel happy...

i hope i succeeded..
now that we're physically apart...
i can't help but miss him..
i can't help but think about him...
and for the first time..
i trusted a man..

goodbye my lover.. sorry.

It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that i knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, i know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when i wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, i've seen you smile.

And i love you, i swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And i still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when i'm asleep.
And i will bear my soul in time,
When i'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, i'm so hollow.
I'm so, i'm so, i'm so hollow.

-sorry.. sorry.. please remember na mahal kita.. kelangan ko mamili eh.. paxenxa na po.. inde ko to ginusto.. cguro we had the right love at the wrong time.. mahirap gawin tong bagay na to, naging parte ka na kasi ng buhay ko eh, at mahirap iwanan ang isang bagay na sobrang nagpapasaya sa yo.. sorry if nag give up ako.. sorry if inde kita naipaglaban.. sorry kung gagawin ko ito.. sorry dahil alam kong masasaktan ka,.. sorry kkasi inde na matutupad ung mga pangarap nating dalawa.. sorry.. sorry.. sorry.. i love you.. and you'll stay in my heart until my hair turns gray.. i am really sorry..

wula lang... hahaha

ava reiko- girl...

ava rixt- girl ulit... hahahaha

alvah ryun- boy hahaha....

alvah raziq- boy ule... wuhahahahaha

nyek...

haist..
wula lang...

i am one of the 7%

A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said,'Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like.'The Lord led the holy man to two doors.He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in. In the middle of the room was a largeround table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water. The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished.. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful. But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths.The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.The Lord said, 'You have seen Hell.'They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The holy man said, 'I don't understand.'Itis simple,' said the Lord. 'It requires but one skill. You see, they have learned to feed each other. The greedy think only of themselves.'When Jesus died on the cross, he was thinking of you. Its estimated 93% won't forward this. If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this with the title '7%'.I'm in the 7%Remember that I will always share my spoon with you.

mini lobsters.. bad for us..

FYI
Please be alert of this food item... It may infect your lung. Do not eat these mini lobsters.These mini crustaceans are literally the garbage cleaners in the sewage treatment plants. The "dirtier" the water, the fatter these mini lobsters become.Their lungs are full of worms and their flesh saturated with poisonous metals.Unscrupulous merchants somehow found a way to get these marketed to eateries. Do not order this dish. Pass this to those friends who may want to try these mini "lobsters".

...crap....

crap, i feel so unpretty...

i look like crap.. hay.. sana maging magnda na ako para inde na ako nakakahiya pag magkasama kame.. hay.. feeling ko talaga ako ung panira saamin eh.. i am the problem.. nakakahiya ako kasama kasi sobrang gaslaw ko, sobrang inde ako girly.. unlike ung mga gusto neang girls... nahihiya ako kasi ang panget ko.. swear.. i look ugly... uber ugly.. compared dun sa mga crush nea or dun sa mga naligawan nea.. wala akong panama sa kanila.. hay... lam kong bad ang mag self pity pero wala akong magawa eh... sana kasi pinanganak ako na mas maganda sa kanilang lahat eh.. para masaya.. bitter bitteran moment nanaman ako.. hmmm....

monthsary...

hmmm.....

it's our first month...
yey..
hahaha...
we may not be together pero i am so sure hanggang sa pagising nea ako pa din ang iniicp nea... hahahaha...

i still miss him.. hmpf.. how i wish i could be with him ryt now....

happy monthsary honeybunch.. haha.. tnx kagabi ah.. tnx a lot..

the flavor of life

Lyrics & Music: Utada Hikaru
Arigatou to kimi ni iwareru to nandaka setsunaisayonara no ato no tokenu mahou awaku horonigaiThe flavor of life
tomodachi demo koibito demo nai chuukan chiten deshuukaku no hi wo yumemiteru aoi furu-tsuato ippo ga fumidasenai sei dejirettai no nan notte? baby~
arigatou to kimi ni iwareru to nandaka setsunaisayounara no ato no tokenu mahou awaku horonigaiThe flavor of life
amai dake no sasoi monku ajike no nai dokusonna mono ni wa kyoumi wa sosorarenaiomoitoori ni ikanai toki dattejinsei suteta mon janai tte
doushita no? to kyuu ni kikareru to “uun. nandemo nai”sayounara no ato ni kieru egao watashi rashikunaisinjitai to negaeba negau hodo nandaka setsunai“aishiteru yo” yori mo “daisuki” no hou ga kimi rashii janai?The flavor of life
wasurekakete ita hito no omoi wo totsuzen omoidasu korofuritsumoru yuki no shirosa wo omou to sunao ni yorokobitai yo
daiyamondo yorimo yawarakakute atatakana miraiteni shitai yo kagiri aru jikan wo kimi to sugoshitai“arigatou” to kimi ni iwareru to nandaka setsunaisayounara no ato no tokenu mahou awaku horonigaiThe flavor of life

ENGLISH:
When you say thank you to me,for some reason it hurts,Like a magic spell that doesn’tget undone even after the good bye.a hint of bitterness.The flavor of life
Stuck midpoint between friends and lovers,like an un-riped fruit dreaming about the day of harvestbecause of being unable to just move one more step forwardwhat’s causing this frustration baby
When you say thank you to me,for some reason it hurts,Like a magic spell that doesn’tget undone even after the good bye.a hint of bitternessThe flavor of life
Sweet talk and tasteless conversations.it sparks no interest in meeven when things do not go the way you wantit doesnt mean you’ve thrown your life away
When asked ‘ whats wrong?’I answer ‘its nothing’The smile that disappears after goodbyeIt’s unlike me
The more i wish to believe in you,For some reason it hurts even more‘i like you a lot’ instead of ‘i love you’ sounds more like youthe flavor of life
the period when you suddenly remember the scent of someone you had almost forgottenI want to be able to openly and honestly cherish the white purity of the falling snow more
A future tender and warmer than a diamondi want to grasp it, in this limited time we have, i want to spend it with you
when you say thank you to me,for some reason it hurts,Like a magic spell that doesntget undone even after the good bye.a hint of bitternessThe flavor of life

----sorry ng madame...---------

sorry...
sorry if napakaselfish ko...
i shouldn't have said that...
sorry....

inde ko na ulit gagawin un...
wak ka na magisip.... kasi po I LOVE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE...
miss na din kita...

P.S.:panigurado mangalkal ka nanaman ng blog... wahahaha... honeybunch, sorry ah.. kasi naglalambing lang po ako pag sinasabi ko un.. sorry if na-ooffend kita ah.. sorry talaga.. kaso sayang inde mo ako naabutang OL.. kaw kasi eh late ka kung magising eh,.... haist.. wula na... inde mo na ako maaabutan..... hehehehe.... thanks nga pla sa pagtawag ah... i appreciate it so much... wahekhekhek... gusto na itang makita.. pra masaya.. hehehehe.... i jsut wish i'm the right girl..

---takas----

haist...
grounded mode....

pero aus lang kasi twice ko xa nakausap sa fone... wahekhekhek...
sabi nea sa text, kinakaya nea daw lahat ng ppagsubok kasi naandito ako.. naguiguilty tuloy ako kasi naman feeling ko parang inde ko na kaya eh.. pero anjan pa din xa eh... tae..

how i wish i could hold him tight.. nakakainis kasi ngaun ko lang napatunayan na nakakabaliw pla na mamiss ung taong may hawak ng puso mo... haist kasi eh.. tapos pag kasama ko xa inde ko alam kung ano gagawin ko... pra na tuloy akong tanga..

gusto ko na xang mahug.. kahit sandali lang.. inde ako mapakali eh...

almond's quotable quotes...

" mahal kita... and you make me feel special... in ways i have never thought of before... and i thank you 4 dat..."

"nasabi ko n sa saraili ko na... each day, ipro-prove ko ung sarili ko at papatunayan sayo na napaka importante mo sken..."

"mahrap tlga i-expres through words... pero... we dont know po tlga where it started... pero nung tumatagal po mas nagiging comfortable po tlga ko sa knya... i feel n i can just be myself wothout pretensions pag ksma ko xa..."

"love is the most powerful thing... that drives people to do the things they never knew they could... to sacrifice things they never knew they could let go... to accept changes in their lives without regret..."

--- this is really flattering pero i just hope it's not a dream..

one week....

wala lang... one week na kasi ang nakalips simula nung naging kami... and sobrang lakas lang ng trip ko na gumawa ng blog about dun... haist... andame na ngyari sa loob ng isang linggo.. i hope na no one gets hurt... haha.. love comes when we least expect it... true..

he's mine

i did not steal him...
never..
it just happened...
we don't know where it started
and we don't know when it'll last..
i hope it won't..
i love him...
and i mean it..
i never felt this way before...
it's like a dream..
i still dunno if it's real or if i am just dreaming..
but i miss him....
so much...
if only i could put him in my pocket and keep him
if only...

our firsts..

his first kiss..
my first real kiss..
my first bf..
his first gf..
my first date..
his first date..

haha..